Why was it worth it

David Fountain 2008 | Whenever I get the chance to share my testimony, I usually am asked if the struggle was worthwile. I never claim that any part of my journey has been easy, but it was worth it. I have always felt and known this, but at a recent radio interview I was asked, “Why was it worth it?” and I was forced to describe and put words to this feeling.

My story is not a story of self determination, but of why we need each other, why we need the church, and why we all need a Savior.

I grew up in a small town outside of Atlanta, GA. I was the youngest of five, one being my identical twin brother. Just like Jacob and Esau’s story in the Bible, my brother became my father’s favorite and I became my mother’s favorite. This was not intentional, but simply a way for my parents to share the responsibility of us. One could say that is where the problem began. However, there was so much more that contributed to my struggle with homosexuality.

Bench Legislation

Regis Nicoll  2008 | On March 25, 1965, 3,200 individuals arrived on the lawn of the capitol building in Montgomery, Alabama. It was the end of a 50-mile, five-day march from Selma to protest discriminatory voting practices in the state. Five months later, President Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act of 1965, outlawing those practices.

On April 11, 2001, six same-sex couples approached the Superior Court of Massachusetts to file suit against the Department of Public Health for being denied marriage licenses. Two and a half years later, the court handed down a ruling legalizing same-sex marriage in the state. This past May, the California Supreme Court followed in lockstep.

Helping People Step Out Of Homosexuality

Frank Worthen | One day near my fourteenth birthday, my pastor called me into his office and said: "Frank, you are a homosexual." I had never heard the word, having grown up in a small farm town, but I was sure that it wasn't good. When he explained homosexuality to me, I had the sinking feeling that he was right, he had read me correctly. But, he then went on to say that my homosexuality was a gift from God, that he himself was homosexual and that many of our denominations' pastors were also homosexual. I knew I was different, but I sure didn't want to be different, and this was not good news. I asked God to change me, but I still was attracted to other males. My one hope was that I was just late in developing an interest in the opposite sex and that soon change would occur.

A personal journey—reflections on change

Laurie Jean Wilson | A comment was made recently about how much I had changed in the past few years in the area of same sex attraction.

A few years ago the struggle was often intense and persistent. Few days would pass without my being challenged. I always recognized the struggle and did not pretend it was no more. The ‘church’ looked for complete healing in me. People commented on my associates, how I dressed and acted. Few sought to know me or my journey in God. I grew to realize that my journey needed to be done in my time, not theirs. How I dressed and with whom I associated was actually an [inadequate] reflection of what God was [actually] doing on the inside.

The Man In The Mirror

Sy Rogers | A day of rejoicing and celebration, of sharing love between family and friends. At my side was my wife, the woman I loved. But special as it was, our wedding held a much deeper significance.

There was a time when I would never have believed such fulfilment was possible for me. Only three years earlier, I was lost in pursuit of my identity; desperately seeking love and acceptance. I was transsexual - or at least that's what my psychiatrist called it. Although physically a man, I felt "trapped" in the wrong body. I was obsessed with the desire to change my outward gender and conform my body to what I believed I really was - both mentally and emotionally. I convinced myself, and worked hard to convince others, that sex-change surgery was necessary for me if I was ever to lead a fulfilled life.

Questions I'm Asked Most about Homosexuality

Sy Rogers | For over a decade I have worked in the specialized and somewhat controversial field of helping those desiring to overcome the control of homosexuality. It has proven to be quite a learning experience! My own story of recovery from sexual brokenness has been widely publicized, resulting in people contacting me from all over the world. I've discovered that regardless of the continent or culture, those seeking out understanding about homosexuality generally ask the same questions. 

What Does Change Involve?

Imagine wanting a vegetable garden. You could pray for years that God would make vegetables grow in your backyard. When nothing happens, you might even decide to be angry with God for not hearing your prayers. However, the reality is that while God can make vegetables grow, we must prepare the soil, plant the seeds, water and weed, and do other work. This gives the best chance that there will be an abundance of vegetables to harvest. In the same way, individuals who want to experience changes in their sexuality must do a lot of work as part of the process. God certainly does His work, and by His Spirit accomplishes things that we cannot do ourselves, but we need to prepare the space in our lives and cooperate with what God wants to do.

Why would a homosexual want to change?

Exodus Global Alliance | Some people find their same-sex attractions conflict with their moral and religious beliefs. Not willing to abandon or revise their moral and religious beliefs, they want to deal with their attractions in light of the Scriptures on which they base their moral and religious beliefs. Unfortunately, for some this has led some to the dreary decision to attempt to deny and/or repress their desires. The good news is that after years of isolation, shame and rejection, the message of real change is a breath of life!

For others, homosexual attractions have taken control of their life. The search for that one person who will satisfy their deep inner longings never seems to end. For some that pursuit has turned very sexual. That person becomes merely a warm body who can ease the pain and longing for a night, or for a short while - and yet those inner longings are still aching to be filled. Maybe the next one will be the one ... and so the search goes on. For these, the message of change brings the hope for an end to the unfulfilling cycle of sex.

What is Homosexuality?

Exodus Global Alliance | This question does not have an answer that everyone accepts.

One reason is the many differences in the people to whom the description ‘homosexual’ is applied. Some people experience same-sex attractions and consider themselves to be homosexuals. Others experience same-sex attractions but consider themselves to be bi-sexual. Still others consider themselves to be heterosexuals who experience unwanted same-sex attractions. Some people who identify themselves as homosexuals claim they have “always been different” while others have lived a heterosexual life for many years, even marrying and having children, who then turn to homosexuality.

What do you mean when you say homosexuals can change?

Exodus Global Alliance | A lot of damage has been done by Christians offering a simplistic concept of change. Many give the admonition that homosexuality is sin and that people just need to stop sinning. This approach lacks understanding and probably lacks compassion as well. While behavior is certainly one aspect of homosexuality, there are other facets of homosexuality that can also be changed. To address only the behavior is like looking at the tip of the iceberg while ignoring the bulk of ice beneath the water line.

What God Hath Joined together

Stephen Baskerville | For the moment, while the Federal Marriage Amendment is moved to a back burner, it's a good time to heighten our awareness of a broader menace. Same-sex marriage is a symptomatic threat to families, compared to the more fundamental effect of "no fault" divorce. "Commentators miss the point when they oppose homosexual marriage on the grounds that it would undermine traditional understandings of marriage," writes Bryce Christensen of Southern Utah University. "It is only because traditional understandings of marriage have already been severely undermined that homosexuals are now laying claim to it."

Michael McManus of Marriage Savers writes that "divorce is a far more grievous blow to marriage than today's challenge by gays."
The Bush administration and Congress have allocated $150 million annually to promote "healthy marriages and responsible fatherhood." The effectiveness of these efforts turns on how well they mesh gears with the underlying realities of the family crisis.

Is it normal to have homosexual feelings during adolescence?

Exodus Global Alliance | It is actually common to have homosexual feelings during adolescence. Whether or not you want to say this is normal depends on what your definition of normal is. If you mean “Does this happen a lot or is it unusual?” then yes, it happens a lot, and no, it's not unusual. If you mean “Is it a healthy, natural part of growing up?” then we would say there are a lot of very common things that are a part of growing up that are neither healthy nor natural. Sexual desires for members of one's same sex, according to the Bible, are wrong. But so is hatred, so is lust, so is being deceitful. These things are all common occurrences in adolescence, so in that sense you might say they are normal (i.e., commonly occurring) but not necessarily healthy or natural.

Has Science Proved Homosexuality Can Not Be Changed?

Exodus Global Alliance | You often hear the claim that science has proved that homosexuality cannot be changed. And so it seems appropriate to review the claims and findings of science regarding this question.

But before we dig in to what science has to say, we should note that some use this claim to undermine Christianity in 3 different ways:

God Restored My Marriage . . .

Exodus International | "Beth," my friend confided, "when I pray about your husband, two words keep getting impressed on my heart. One is suicide--and the other is homosexuality." It was on a Rhode Island beach in June of 1985 that I finally admitted to myself that my husband, Mike, and I had a serious problem. My feelings were in turmoil as I wandered alone down the sand, looking for seashells. 

I watched the silvery waves wash starfish onto the beach, as the spiny creatures were ripped from their rocky perches. Like those starfish, my world had been solid and secure--but now I was being pulled by forces beyond my control. My life was out of control in a way I didn't understand. I felt vulnerable and scared.

God, I know my marriage is in trouble, I thought. I can't ignore it any longer--but what should I do? 

Redeemed! 10 Ways to Get Out of the Gay Life, If You Want Out

Charlene E Cothran | Over the past 29 years of my life I have been an aggressive, creative and strategic supporter of gay and lesbian issues ... But now, I must come out of the closet again. I have recently experienced the power of change that came over me once I completely surrendered to the teachings of Jesus Christ. As a believer of the word of God, I fully accept and have always known that same-sex relationships are not what God intended for us.

A Mother's Story of Change

Exodus International | As a toddler, Jennifer loved books, but I pushed for dolls. She loved wearing pants, I argued for the dresses. I loved fairy tales, but she loved the encyclopedias and National Geographic. Jennifer was artistic and gifted. I was the school drop out with disabilities and a testimony that read much like the "woman at the well."

We were so opposite, and yet more alike than we could see. We were both led by our emotions, which took us on the rollercoaster ride of our lives.

I had no idea that I was so full of fear, guilt and shame as a result of childhood abuse. I thought that had already been dealtwith. But I'm sad to say that even a commitment to Christ did not keep those emotions from raging and holding me hostage. Not surprisingly, my daughter followed the same pattern.Jennifer received Jesus as Savior at a young age, and had a personal love relationship with Him for many years.

However in her second year of college, at the innocent age of nineteen, she came home and made the devastating announcement that she had entered the gay lifestyle. Life as we knew it would no longer be the same.

Free at Last - Mike's Story

Exodus International | It was the spring of 1984. I stood at my office window, gazing out at the bleak sunless morning. A familiar cloud of depression descended upon me, the same feeling I'd had many times in recent months. 

I've wanted so long to be free, I thought, my eyes filling with tears. But I'm as empty as ever. Is death the only way out? 

I thought back on my childhood. My parents separated when I was four, due to Dad's excessive drinking. Their divorce came four years later. As a result, I felt inferior around my peers. They all had two parents and "normal" families, while I lived with my mother and two older sisters. 

Is Homosexuality Genetic?

Exodus Global Alliance | No, homosexuality is not genetic. But neither do people choose to have homosexual feelings.

Genetics is the domain of science. So let’s consider what science has found regarding homosexuality and genetics. First, science has found that sexuality and sexual orientation are some of the most complex aspects of people and the answers to simple questions like “Is homosexuality genetic?” are not simple. For example, science does not have any test that can identify homosexuals from heterosexuals – no gene or DNA test, no blood or hormone test, no organ test.

Human Sexuality

CMDA, USA | God created human beings with many dimensions, one of which is their unique sexual nature. As men and women, we are physical, intellectual, emotional, relational, and spiritual beings, and thus distinguished from the rest of creation.

Many levels of sexual expression are possible between men and women.

One important expression of sexuality is friendship; the sexual differences between men and women enhance meaningful, warm, and healthy relationships. A second important area of sexual expression is intimacy between husband and wife. God has designed the most intimate expressions of sexuality, including intercourse, specifically for the marriage relationship. The Bible describes the covenantal relationship of love which God has for His people; the husband-wife relationship is analogous. Since God holds the marriage relationship close to His heart, its violation is a serious offense to Him.

How does a homosexual person change?

Exodus International | We believe freedom from homosexuality is increasingly experienced as men and women mature through ongoing submission to the lordship of Christ and His Church. This transformation enables him or her to shed the old, sinful identity and in its place learn new ways of relating to self and others. Working through underlying relational and abuse problems is a significant component in this process. Making use of individual and pastoral counseling, support groups and personal Bible study. Many find a same-sex discipleship group to be beneficial.

Homosexuality Factsheet

Gordon Moyes 2007 | The Macquarie Dictionary defines homosexuality as "sexual feeling for a person (or persons) of the same sex." 

Some people say God hates homosexuals. What do you think?

Exodus International | God clearly says in Scripture that He loves people. John 3:16 says "God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die." God says and we believe that He loves everyone. It doesn't matter whether they're gay or straight, male or female, black, brown, white.... God created everyone and everything, and He loves all the people He made. That is why we can say from John 3:16... 

Being Gay & Christian

Regis Nicoll  2007 | White is a co-founder of the gay advocacy group Soulforce and author of What the Bible Says —And Doesn't Say —About Homosexuality. “There are,” he writes, “millions of gay and lesbian persons who have accepted their sexual orientation as a gift from God and live productive and deeply spiritual lives.” Homosexual orientation is “a gift from God?” Active gays lead a “deeply spiritual life?” What about all those Bible passages condemning homosexual behavior? Before you start thumbing through your Bible, note what White gives as the final word on this: 

EX-GAY: Fact, Fraud or Fantasy? 

Frank Worthen 2007 | "Ex-gay" is a term which always brings a response. For the most part, the gay community believes this is a total lie. They deny that it is possible to become ex-gay. It is their belief that "ex-gay" is a fraudulent term. Most come from the standpoint that a homosexual orientation is inborn, that it cannot be changed. They frequently equate the homosexual orientation with being left-handed, or with the color of one's skin. 

But is it the Same?

Gordon Moyes 2006 | Re-writing the definition of marriage does not just change one law, it changes everything. The legal term marriage permeates every sphere of law: taxes, education, and employment. These laws in turn regulate religious institutions and para-church organizations like schools, hospitals, child-care facilities, disability services, aged care facilities, nursing homes and so on.

There are currently court cases over Christian child-care organizations that have refused to provide children brought for care to same sex couples, as they do not constitute a marriage or a family.

The Dangers of Same-Sex "Marriage"

Regis Nicoll 2006 | Last week a Georgia judge struck down an amendment banning same-sex marriage. The ruling turned on a technicality that limits amendments to one topic. The constitutional change, approved by three-fourths of the state electorate, defined marriage as between one man and one woman, while also banning same-sex civil unions. But, according to Judge Constance C. Russell, that was a disservice to voters “who believe marriages between men and women should have a unique and privileged place in our society [and] also believe that same-sex relationships should have some place, although not marriage.”