Mates Helping Mates

Tony Miller
Dad's In Distress (DID) - April 2010

The other night just as my wife and I were about to go to bed, the phone rang, it was one of the 'dids' who has been attending meetings for many years. he wanted to come around, it was late, but I sensed from the tone of his voice that something wasn't right. I muffled the phone with my hand and whispered to my wife who it was and that something wasn't right.
Although she was as tired as I was she instantly nodded and said let him come.

He arrived looking stressed and tired. After pouring him a coffee he began to tell us that he had just spent many, many hours talking a guy out of suicide. The guy's wife had left him weeks earlier and now he was coming to the realisation that she wasn't coming back. Not only that, but she was adamant that he would not be seeing his two children 8 and 9 again. He was devastated.

My friend, a guy I had been helping for many years and who himself has and is continually denied court ordered access to his daughter for the past 6 years had spent many hours talking him out of taking his life. He was fed up, tired of the fighting, angry, gutted, depressed and suicidal. He had begun drinking earlier in the day and continued as my friend tried to console him, crying and  eventually  becoming abusive. My friend ignored the abuse, stayed with him and continued to try and stop him from drinking, but to no avail. Eventually he passed out on the couch, late in the night and my friend covered him with a blanket, made sure everything was ok, assured he will sleep till morning and left, leaving a note with the 'dids' 1300 853 437  number and the time and address of the next 'dids' meeting nearest to him. I will be there first thing in the morning Tony, before he wakes. Did I do the right thing Tony?

More than enough mate I assured him, all you can do. Myself and my wife spent some hours allowing my friend to debrief. He just wanted to know if he had done the right thing, and of course he had. He will be there in the morning, he will be a mate, a 'did', and that is all that is required. He is not a professional, just a grass roots mate. Shame there weren't more around. He is just holding another blokes head above water until he reaches safe ground, that's all.

As my friend left, he said, "Thanks Tony." "For what?" I asked.

"You did the same for me many years ago."

Makes me proud of what I started, just mates helping mates.

Tony Miller
Dads in Distress
1300 853 437 
tmiller@nor.com.au 

Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 542
UNANDERRA NSW 2526

Ph: 02 4272 6677
Fax: 02 4272 6680

Email: info@fatherhood.org.au

Web: www.fatherhood.org.au