Healthy Words

Warwick Marsh
Fatherhood Foundation Newsletter - November 2009

We have just finished celebrating International Men's Day on Thursday 19th November 2009. Internationally it is exploding, in Australia it is going well.

Over a period of 3 days I was interviewed by 7 different radio stations to find out what International Men's Day is all about. I had to think carefully about what I was going to say. I could have concentrated in my interviews on all the negatives that men face in our modern society.  Here are some of them:

- Men on average die 5 years younger than women.
- Men suicide at four times the rate of women.
- Far more money is spent on women's health than men's health.
- Women have a National Health Policy but Australian men, still today 20 years on, do not have a  National Men's Health Policy. (hopefully soon)
- Men account for 95% of workplace fatalities.
- The education system favours women and is failing our young men and boys.
- Men not women die in battle for their country.
- Family Law Courts still discriminate against men around the world.
- Even though mothers commit 55% of child murder and biological fathers commit 6%, fathers are still vilified by the courts system as being dangerous and children are removed from their father unjustly and often to their own detriment.

It would have been so easy for me to regurgitate these facts to the eager interviewers but that would not have been something that would be good for International Men's Day or the men of the world. (I confess I did regurgitate a few such facts).Yes, we face discrimination, but International Men's Day is all about providing positive answers and having a celebration of what men bring to the table in a whole host of areas.

As Uma Challa, the International Men's Day coordinator from India said in her media release:

- Men render many services that make the society comfortable for everyone.
- Men make many contributions to science, technology and health of all.
- Men perform the most dangerous and difficult jobs in the world.
- Men take risks and die to save other lives during calamities and war.
- Men bring humor into our lives and make us laugh.

Uma Challa continued on to sum up the day beautifully when she wrote:

International Men's Day is an occasion to highlight and promote positive role models in all walks of life. It as day to remind ourselves to honor all men - academic achievers, social leaders, champions of the environment, artists, comedians, soldiers, farmers, fishermen, fire fighters, and those more humble males who, on a daily basis, clean our streets, build our houses, fix our vehicles, police our streets, deliver newspapers and milk, care for children, and dedicate themselves to others. It is a day to remember that we must celebrate all men in our lives - our fathers, brothers, partners, sons, male friends, neighbors and colleagues.

On this great and joyous occasion, we request all members of the print and electronic media to join us in spreading our message to the entire world.

It would be so easy to slip into the negative but I made sure I stayed on the positive just like Uma Challa. Why? because positive words bring healing, positive words bring hope, positive words bring strength, positive words bring health to those who hear them. The book of Proverbs talks a lot about the power of words, "There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promote health." In another part of Proverbs it says, 'life and death are in the power of the tongue.'

As fathers, it is critical for us to look for the positive even in a world of negatives. Many times we can see what our children are doing is wrong, but we must learn to look for the positives in them. Give them praise and encouragement with our words and gently point out the pitfalls of their behaviour only when we have to. As someone once said, 'Some parents bring up their children on thunder and lightening, but thunder and lightening never yet made anything grow'.

Lovework

Be careful with your words because as Paul Lewis said, "A father's words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature of the house." Your words as a father can bring health to your house. You can bank on it!

Yours for healthy words
Warwick Marsh

PS: Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for International Men's Day. Uma Challa had a story on the front page of 'The Times' of India, most other major papers and almost every TV station in India. 1.2 billion people now know about International Men's Day. Uma is a one-woman army and probably the greatest men's activist in the world, and a woman.