Plan Quality Time

Robin McLure
Fatherhood Foundation Newsletter - 2008

Make Unscheduled Fun with Kids a Priority

Do you feel the only time your family is truly together is when you're in the car together, shuffling children from one activity to another? Are meals together eating from bags from a drive-through? Is the only time you enjoy "down time" when it follows the chaos of getting home, doing homework, getting baths, and finally bed--long after the pre-determined bedtime? If that sounds like you, you are not alone.

 Child Psychologist and Co-Author Alvin Rosenfield of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding The Hyper-Parenting Trap, states that family time is often being sacrificed in American lifestyles in order to fill the child's time with enrichment activities.

He cites one study indicating that unstructured children's activities have declined by 50 percent over the past 20 years, family dinners have declined 33 percent, and family vacations have decreased by 28 percent.

What are ways you can reduce the parent trap of overscheduling your children?

* Make balance a priority and place a premium on time spent together. Create solid relationships among members of the family, and strive for open, non-hurried, and inviting communication.

* Carefully consider the addition of each new activity in your child's life. Is it something your child really wants to do, or is it perhaps an extension of your own dreams and ambitions?

* Serve as a role model for relaxation, enjoyment of leisure activities, and quiet times. Demonstrate how "doing nothing" can be enjoyable.

* Encourage children to see the balance between work and play.

* Have fun with your kids in a playful, creative, and imaginative way. Don't make competition a requirement in every activity. Spend time with your children with no goal in mind other than spending time together.

Remember that your job as a parent is to raise happy children who will become balanced and successful adults!