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Bringing
change through Relationship
Warwick
Marsh
1st July, 2007
This
week has been historic for
the men and fathers of Australia.
 When
my wife and I first started
the Fatherhood Foundation
in 2002, we discovered that
fathers, and men in general,
barely figure in government
policy. We are a Harm Prevention
Charity and our fundamental
role is to work at a grass
roots level, encouraging individual
men to go for gold as fathers
for the sake of their families.
Our
initial research showed us
that men are largely invisible
to government agencies and
in many cases these same government
agencies are derogatory to
the male of the species. We
realized that part of our
job in restoring fatherhood
in Australia and helping fathers
be great dads for their children
is bringing forward positive
fatherhood policies that guarantee
win-win outcomes for all concerned.
How
do we bring positive change
to our children as fathers?
We build relationship by loving,
caring, and nurturing them.
It is no different in public
policy.
Everything
the Fatherhood Foundation
has done to date has been
through building positive
relationships with many of
our hardworking parliamentary
friends from all parts of
the political spectrum. How
did this happen?
In
the latter half of the nineties
my family and I worked extensively
in Parliament House, Canberra
with Aboriginal Leaders from
all over Australia. As coordinator
for a couple of years of the
Praise Corroboree, a reconciliation
based prayer movement, I was
privileged to organize twice
for key Indigenous elders
and other reconciliation leaders
to meet with the Prime Minister.
The word reconcile means 'to
make friendly after estrangement'
in the Oxford Dictionary.
Our job in the reconciliation
movement was to build bridges
of trust between Aboriginal
people/leaders and parliamentary
leaders. The parallel is the
same for the fatherhood movement.
It is because we have built
a positive relationship with
others that we can then speak
into their lives. Our words
are respected because our
relationship is respected.
It is no different with political
change.
In
late 1996 we had a large reconciliation/prayer
event planned in Parliament
House, Canberra. Some months
before there was a riot at
the front of the house, a
union protest. The protestors
smashed the front door of
Parliament House down, and
Aboriginal protesters were
pushed to the front of the
line and through the door
first in order to get the
sympathy vote. In the light
of these experiences the government
officials and parliamentary
security officials had cancelled
our booking for the Great
Hall and we were really stuck.
Finally we had a meeting with
government/officials and some
supporting parliamentarians.
The tension was palpable.
Ps Peter Walker, Aboriginal
President of the Praise Corroboree
spoke very graciously and
humbly even though he had
every right to bang the table
because the government representatives
had broken their part of the
bargain in providing the ve!
nue for the upcoming event.
It was Peter's gracious approach
that ultimately won them over
and the celebration went ahead
every year for the next five
years. Eventually security
staff looked forward to our
yearly events because they
said that the Praise Corroboree
and its 72 hours of prayer,
worship and reconciliation
brought a sense of peace and
harmony to Parliament House.
They enjoyed tapping their
feet to the music and meeting
the wonderful Indigenous Leaders
who came from all parts of
Australia for the 3 day event.
Just
as Peter Walker won the hearts
of the parliamentary/security
officials through his gracious
and humble approach, we must
do the same as fathers.
We
must become the change we
seek.
If
we are always demanding our
own way because we are the
boss and it is our right to
expect obedience we will soon
run out of steam. Our job
as fathers is not to exasperate
our children because of our
demands as right as they might
be. Rather, our job is to
humbly and graciously argue
for commonsense. Sometime
the low road gets you there
quicker than the high road.
Mothers
want to be in relationship
with good fathers and children
do too. Once the government
finally understands the contribution
that fathers make to families,
and commits to the process
of supporting and encouraging
Aussie dads, they may well
recoup over $13 billion per
year and we might begin to
see some real positive changes
for Australian families. Until
that happens we are committed
to bring real change by building
real and positive relationships.
After all isn't that the only
way a father can see positive
change in his children?
We
must become the change we
seek.
Yours for bringing change
through relationships
Warwick Marsh
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Although
a strong foundation
will cost us something,
A weak foundation may
cost us everything.
Shane
Idleman
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Thought
of the Week
We
don't want a men's movement
that blames women,
we
want a men's movement that
works with men and women
to develop better identity,
better relationships,
a
stronger fathering role in
our society
and
to develop win-win outcomes,
where
as a society across both genders,
we
can make advances and make
successful change
Quote
from a Quote from Anthony
Byrne's
speech in Federal Parliament
Hansard -
20th June 2007
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