| Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. |
| Chuck Norris can speak braille. |
| Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. |
| Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. |
| Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves. |
| When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. |
| Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. |
| Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. |
| Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. |
| Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. |
| Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris |
| Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. |
| Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano |
| When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off. |
| The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake. |
| When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris. |
| Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is. |
| If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. |
| Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. |
| Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to. |
| If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. |
| Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. |
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
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| If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. |
| Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility. |
| One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. |
| Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father. |
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
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| Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack. |
| Chuck Norris is the reason that God rested on the seventh day. |
| Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is The Two |
| If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down |
| Chuck Norris is actually Jeeves from AskJeeves.com |
| Chuck Norris can actually breath fire |
| Chuck Norris can divide by zero. |
